A nation united…. for pr0n

Pakistan – whose meaning was apparently “Land of the Pure” has achieved another landmark of perfection when it has become the country from where most of the pornography related searches are originated.

This honor was not easy to achieve, because we were facing tough competition from throughout the world. But our horniness knew no limits… by diligently googling our wildest of fantasies for years, we have finally finished “First” on the podium and finally the holy word of “Pornistan” is a patented property of the country formerly known as the land of the pure.

Every day and night, hundreds and thousands of my fellow countrymen log onto the internet for one sole purpose: to google about any new pictures and videos of “interest”. The term “interest” is best described by Fox News, whose report sparked the controversy:

“Pakistan is top dog in searches per-person for "horse sex" since 2004, "donkey sex" since 2007, "rape pictures" between 2004 and 2009, "rape sex" since 2004, "child sex" between 2004 and 2007 and since 2009, "animal sex" since 2004 and "dog sex" since 2005, according to Google Trends and Google Insights, features of Google that generate data based on popular search terms.

The country also is tops — or has been No. 1 — in searches for "sex," "camel sex," "rape video," "child sex video" and some other searches that can’t be printed here.”

Although Fox News is the last news site I would believe for unbiased reporting (thanks to their glorious history of telling the truth) but one cannot deny the fact that our fellow countrymen always keep the pussy up there on the pedestal while others matters are dumped down in the drains. [as we people usually call it LPC in desi slang].

Being a devoted citizen of pornistan, i googled for the word and The Fox News was the first search result from search engine itself. So, does this mean that Fox News is better than Red Tube? oh yeah, this means it will be the topmost item on my fap list.

This recent title to the country also points to two things:

1 – Paradigm Shift:   Before pornistan, we were the nation which harbored terrorists and the greatest pastime of the people were making and blowing bombs at crowded places. So, does it mean that we have abandoned our ancestral legacy and have put down the arms? Instead of holding onto our AK-47s and Rocket launchers, we have now decided to hold onto our dicks. So, the people have finally adopted the slogan of “Make Love not War” and searching for sex is one such example of starting over. (although, the idea of making love with camels, dogs and children is not right)

2 – Our farsighted Judiciary:  Just recently the Lahore high court had ordered to ban some top most sites (including search engines) as it was cited that those websites were used to spread blasphemy. So, does this mean that our honorable judges knew that the nation was actively involved in searching for porn? hmmmmm…. it seems like one of the judges peeped into his children’s search history and he didn’t like what he saw :)

Anyways, its good to know that we as a nation are united in atleast one thing … that is, to be united in searching for the greatest porn resources ever existed on the internet. Although this unity not what we should be publically proud of, but as Chief Minister of Baluchistan Quoted it: “A degree is a degree, whether real or fake” , I would like to quote: “Unity is unity, whether we are united for helping our fellow countrymen or whether we are united for searching porn on the internet”.  …. and I am contributing my part in this unity. – If you know what I mean.

So, enough of this writing…. i dont want this country to lose its current ranking. I am signing off and going back to tube sites and see what lies there for me.

 

viva unity!

Pornistan Zindabad

*play the national anthem*

 

Tags: , , ,

This entry was posted on Saturday, July 17th, 2010 at 11:44 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Leave a Reply