and they have grown up too…

July 30th, 2013 / No Comments » / by Burhan

As the years have gone by, I have grown up…

but so have these firecrackers that i was so fond of playing with… grown up into mighty fierce bombs whose stories we hear everyday.

Our childhood cravings will haunt us forever.

On Journey’s End

June 30th, 2013 / No Comments » / by Burhan

"I wish nothing of this had happened"
"So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide, all you have to decide is what to do with the time that has given to you. There are other forces than coincidences, and encourage us to think what to do, on the right time"
"I didn’t think it would end this way"
"End? Oh the journey doesn’t end here. Death is just another path, one that we all must take, the grey ring curtain in this world rolls back and all turns to silver glass. And then you see it"
"See what…?"
"White shores. And beyond. The far green country, through a swift sunrise"
"Well that’s not so bad"
"No. It isn’t"

 

– Conversation between Pippin and Gandalf, The Lord of The Rings by J.R.R Tolkien

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Destiny

June 21st, 2013 / No Comments » / by Burhan

All they told me was to find my destiny.

Throughout this lifetime i was seeking my destiny… in the books of philosophy, in the holy scriptures from the religions across the globe, in the inbox of my email system, among the chit-chat of the clubs….

but what i called destiny was still buried in a pile of un-approved applications on some official’s desk.

 

Every boom gets us closer to a modest lifestyle

May 5th, 2013 / No Comments » / by Burhan

When Johnny was a little child, mama used to tell him to come back home as soon as the sun sets. Johnny didn’t like getting back this early. He was a disobedient child who wanted to hang out with friends, play games and party till the break of dawn.

Fast forward two decades. Johnny lives in modern-day Karachi. where every night, bombs go off more frequently than there is electricity outage. Johnny and thousands of others like him rush home as soon as their work is finished so that they can be back home at the earliest… fate (rather a terrorist organization) has finally made him follow his parent’s advice.

Expert Analysis (Sarcasm intended):

The aforementioned terrorists are in fact nice people who have taken up the responsibility that children must follow the rules set by their parents. thus by every bomb blast, they are letting us dump our highly unapproved lifestyle, and adopt to a more modest lifestyle. after all, family’s happiness is the priceless gift a child can offer to his family.

 

P.S: Still, FUCK YOU TERRORISTS!!!

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What became of a child’s wish

April 24th, 2013 / No Comments » / by Burhan

When i was a kid, every now and then i used to pray: “Oh God! Please Please Please make tomorrow a holiday, just swipe your magic wand and make me not go to school”.

God never listened then, but years later i realized that He had listened… and waited for the right time to grant my wish so that i could move to Karachi and experience the ever-frequent “yaum-e-soug”, a competition among political gangs to close down businesses, no-work-days due to natural calamities…. etc

God, tussi great ho!

Special Thanks to:

Namaloom Afraad: Fulfilling every child’s wish of “skipping school due to unforseen events” since 1984

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To farewells and good times

February 26th, 2013 / No Comments » / by Burhan

Here is to those friends who walk away leaving behind memories of good times..

I just wish that on some fine evening, we might meet up and indulge in spicy karahi at the food street, or perhaps our lives would bring us to have a cup of tea together on the shores of the sea, or you never know if on some far away land, we might unintentionally bump into each other at some night club.

……. and if nothing works, I will see you in Hell.

Keep Kicking ass my man!

A ‘bit’ of a disaster – A techy short story

January 17th, 2013 / No Comments » / by Burhan

The day is finally here

Today I will finally test my latest invention… to teleport myself. Not to the distant place or time but inside the mythical cyberworld. My new technology would convert me into a stream of bytes and i will jump into cyberworld from my local wi-fi.

I pressed the button, and was instantly converted into an array of 0’s and 1’s and all ready to start my journey..

Just as the transfer was underway, my dog fumbled into the routers wires and pulled the plug..

my bits were scattered everywhere…. literally!

 

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Goodbye 2012

January 1st, 2013 / No Comments » / by Burhan

With premature ejaculators already firing their fireworks well before midnight, I recall what a dreaded year this has been, living on the edge every single day with the fear of the unknown, leaving for work and wondering whether i will get back with all my belongings, or even get back at all. Now that the clock has safely past the midnight mark, I am proudly claiming that “I HAVE SURVIVED 2012, I HAVE WON!”.

You have tested me countless time, made me bang my head against walls, desks and keyboards in frustration.. you have made me act like a dumb asshole at the most awkward moments… but all these tests, these frustrating moments were met with somewhat resistance from my end as well. I worked hard, and got somewhat recognition for it as well, I ventured out to explore new fun places with whatever time i got out of my hectic work life, I watched lots of new movies, read new books, explored new music, took long bus trips, added more miles to my car’s odometer, tasted the joy of flight not once, but twice and went out into open sea and explored the coral reef. All of this couldn’t be possible without the support of my family and loyal friends who stayed by my side at most of the places i ventured into.

and so this post goes out to those who stayed around wherever i was, whether at work or at some fancy restaurant or at a lousy traffic jam, I write to you to say a very happy new year to almost all of you and a big “FUCK YOU” to the select few whom i don’t want to interact with… ever!

…and thank you 2012, You were competitive, but not competitive enough to kill me. Just get out of my sight, you miserable year.

Y U No Get Married?

December 25th, 2012 / No Comments » / by Burhan

“Janab, aap shadi kyun nahi kartay?”

This question follows me like a guided missile. whether I am at work, some family gathering, or any get together among friends. Most of the time this question gets thrown at me after they get to know my age (or years of experience – which roughly translates to one’s age as well).
Coping, dodging and answering these questions has now become a part of my life. And normally, i try to smile off this question quietly or answer this question in a comical way so that the conversation gets diverted away. Below are some of the common replies:

1 – The world is ending in 2012, why bother now?    [Edit: This answer was applicable before 21st of December, 2012 – the proposed apocalypse date… too bad, i have to invent a new reply now]

2 – One of my past girlfriends escaped my axe, no further assignments till i am through with that matter

3 – Interior Minister has banned my marriage [Context: here, here, and here]

4 – Abhi Ilaaj chal raha hai *wink*

5 – Me getting married is a sign of Qayamat. In the benefit of human race, i have decided to stay single

6 – Let this damn project finish *smash your fingers on the keyboard* [A great weapon to be used when some client’s personnel ask you this silly question]

7 – I just spent a fortune buying a fleshlight. It needs to be properly used! *wink* [Clarification: I do not own a fleshlight. but I want to… as soon as I figure out where to hide one]

8 – I can’t betray my hand.

9 – I watch a hollywood movie daily, I can’t become a character in a star plus drama.

10 – Whats gonna happen to all those tube sites who get most of their traffic from my computer?

… and lastly:

11 – My computer is my real life partner.

 

These stupid statements are a reply to what i consider stupid questions. Though the success rate of getting away with the question is as high as 95%, the void inside of me seems to grow after every such answer….

*sigh* life is hard for a single man over 30 in the land of the pure :-/

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The Phone call – a short story

November 28th, 2012 / No Comments » / by Burhan

Apart from the glow from the TV screen, the room was unlit. On That TV screen i had just finished watching a real weird movie. scenes of carcasses, overturned boats climaxed by a eclipse.
I was still wondering what i had seen, when the phone rang.

I stumbled my way to the phone in the darkened room and said: “Hello?”

A crackling voice sounded from the other end of the conversation and it said two words:

“Seven Days…”

… and the line went dead

Shivering, i put down the phone for I feared what lied ahead of me…

My bank never failed to remind me of my upcoming loan installment.

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