LHC : The new hero in town

One attempt against the freedom of internet usage in Pakistan has been repelled.
A few days ago, some self-righteous asshole emerged from some self-righteous madrassah in some self-righteous village in Bahawalpur and claimed to our self-righteous Lahore High Court (LHC) that internet is *evil* and perverts use it to seek *blasphemous* content to satisfy their evil desires.
The LHC, which lies high on the pyramid of self-righteousness immediately realized an opportunity to impose its self-righteousness on the masses and issued an order to ban the most commonly used search engines and utility sites like Amazon, Google, Bing, Yahoo etc

This was however met with a stern response from the internet community who despite their differences unanimously agreed that LHC has really gone insane.
So, soon afterwards… LHC reverses its decision to impose ban on the 17 sites. Furthermore, it suggested to form a committee of Ulema (read: Mulla) who are authority in IT (and religion) to help decide the future of this decision.

So, mullas being the experts in things other than ‘istanja’ and ‘delcaring jihad on kuffaar’ ? cool i am looking forward to meet some IT mulla sometime later in … in another life time of-course.

So, Who exactly matches the profile of a technology savvy mulla?


may be this one:

even if their “expertise” dont satisfy our honorable judge saab, then we can train this little fellow:

and i am positive that he will remain true to his dreadlocks and will eventually rise to become the greatest hacker ever known to mankind…. and we will even name him ‘blasphemy buster’ as he will hack through each network of blasphemy and will invoke his anti-blasphemy virus that will take care of these blasphemy spreading sites for good…. and viola! the religion is saved… and no site will ever be banned… ever!

Now, what-if the mulla ran out of halwa and decide that internet is too blasphemous to be used in this country?

“In that case our honorable judge will be pleased to announce that all the sites spreading blasphemy of any sort will be removed from an ordinary man’s access so that the pure people from the land of the pure will only have access to pure sites and pure source of knowledge that will help cultivate non-blasphemous pure thoughts.”

Since internet is an ever-growing phenomenon and i suspect that soon enough we will see that day when we will be living in a black out of knowledge (back to the stone age) – there will be no google, no yahoo, no msn, no amazon… and if we are lucky we will still have open access to gay and child pr0n sites (after all, these mullas get raunchy at times ;-)

So, on one such day in the near future, I might encounter a problem which my level of experience and knowledge wouldnt be able to answer. Ideally, i would have turned to my faithful friend – Google, but it turns out google is banned. So, the only solution that would be left to us would be to go to the nearest madrassah and ask the “Aalim” saab there.

Me: “Ya Qibla Maulana sahib!,  How do I <ENTER YOUR DOMAIN SPECIFIC QUERY HERE>?”
Mulla: “First, do the wuzoo. Then get on a prayer rug and start praying…. If God is kind enough, he will send you a revelation”

and so, the pious will win…. all thanks to some retard who was enlightened enough to realize that internet actually is the creature from ‘Qayamat ki nishanian’ that used to emerge from sea and talked to people in their own language.

All that time, LHC is being nothing but a tool to be used by these self-righteous retards who perhaps heard the word ‘internet’ while he was being shagged by a dozen demons in one of his wet dreams.
Any common citizen can ask the question that why is the judiciary so mum over the shitstorm of inflation, lawlessness, corruption in the country? instead they would rather choose eliminate the threat of blasphemy and keep the masses in the stone age. great job! i laude your efforts of making lives miserable for the people of this country who are already encumbered with terrorism and inflation. I am hopeful that your efficient court will be as diligent in issuing a ban on windows operating system because some fucktard from chicha-watni thinks that the windows logo is actually the Antichrist’s symbol.

This entry was posted on Saturday, July 3rd, 2010 at 4:04 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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